there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
only if we run a train.
done.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
