I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize