im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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