Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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