ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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