you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
