What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
