ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize