i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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