All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
