Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
