They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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