Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize