I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
