I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
