I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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