Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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