Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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