if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
