grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
only you would photoshop your dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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