There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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