K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
