YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
