names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Boobs are out for the taking
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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