Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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