Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
