And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
