i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
