stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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