I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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