so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
