Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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