just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
