dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Randomize
