We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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