just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
