Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
