Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
