when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You're like the curious george of whores
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
