i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
