I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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