Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
