don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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