If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
