I think I died a long time ago.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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