A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
