I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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