Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
