I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
