I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
