she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
