There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
