spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
