you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
