we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize