either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
