Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
