I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
