If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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