I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
