bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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