In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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