just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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