I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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