There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
