I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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