if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love having hate sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Come on in and take your pants off
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